Here's what you'll see hanging
on the walls of our friendly Lounge. Kinda makes you wanna lose your martini,
don't it? Along with the pics come a few predictions
on what the future holds for these celebrities. Heh heh heh heh...
Brittany Spears:
- After learning (at the age of 26) how to read words with more than
four syllables, Spears realizes that there are, in fact, people out there
who don't like her. This prompts her to try and up her popularity with minorities
by "coming out" as a lesbian, secure in the knowledge that people will know
this from her new haircut. Crushed when the representative
for the LGBT rights community publicly begs the teeny-bopper community to
take her the hell back, she makes an Ann Heche-esque U-turn, claiming that
her temporary deviation was due to public pressure and sudden mental illness.
But not so serious that she can't be filmed for a VH1 special report.
The Olsen Twins:
- For years the Olsen Twins enjoy fame and fortune at the expense
of the rich teeny-bopper crowd's weekly allowance. They break into music,
and host the MTV video music awards, where they make out on stage with each
other. A year later they wake up in Cher's mansion after a night of partying
with no recollection of how they got there. Rumors fly and the tabloids have
a field day with the Olsen Twins' new camera-shy lifestyle and eerily cher-like
new look.
Rush Limbaugh:
- After decades of soul-searching, to find out why everyone thinks
he's a dick, and why he can't score with women unless he pays them enormous
fees, Rush Limbaugh finally finds himself.
Martha Stewart:
- This one doesn't even need a prediction, because they've all come
true. Let's take a look at our favorite slave-to-stencils
when she's hanging holiday greens in a prison cell.